Life of an unknown soul

Fallout 3 in a lunch box!

2008-10-29T20:17:00.008+08:00

Yo guys I just got my hands on the lunch box Fallout 3. Collector's Edition. May not be posting for a while:

My Coffee Blog :D

2008-10-29T13:30:00.001+08:00

Hi all,

Since like as you guys know I'm a super coffee freak, I've written a blog to review how coffee drinks are in Malaysia. Please insert complaints/flames/mass weapons of destruction here:

Adrian Lim's Coffee

Thank you.

Attached :D

2008-10-23T20:06:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the super duper late post. Been happening alot of stuff. Work has been crazy as usual, but this is a just a short post to say that I'm attached. :) Aei Ween is from Alor Setar and she's just written a blog on how we met.

Aei Ween's Blog

Aei Ween, if you're reading this. Love you :D

My company, my kid

2008-06-26T19:59:00.002+08:00

I just had a meeting with one of my dad's friends, who runs one quite famous signboard posting company in Malaysia. Initially I was expecting a project or two that they can outsource but they want me to partner with them for some other project.

Thing is, as they were talking on how much more money you can earn, I can't seem to leave the company I made for the past 3 years. Technically it's not a company per say coz there's only me and some freelancers running it, but the entity is with me for the past 3 years. I've nurtured it, spend alot of money on it, got people into it, got people out of it, got it to become a Microsoft member, then to a Small Business Specialist, and now going for the Certified Partner.

It's probably then I've spent my life on this kid. I've basically fed it and hopefully watching it grow. Which is also another issue for leaving to London (previous post). It's going to get a full-time employee soon (hopefully!) and hope the company will nurture to more than myself, where I can proudly smile and see it running without me. :)

My dad's friend was saying that your first company you made is your baby, your pillow that you hold to sleep at night, and have a reluctance to let it grow, and he says that I should be thinking objectively on my business, and of my future and to let it go cause it's so small. Although very amateurish this sounds, even if I have to grow out of this pillow than i'm holding, I want to hold as long as I can.

Working with 3d again ^_^

2008-06-18T00:53:00.002+08:00

Wow, after months and years of business applications, I seem to be getting into 3D programming, a blessing in disguise maybe?

I got this contact from Hazmer (Thanks ahbonk!) who wants to start working on a simulation to help resell their development packages, which is called the DarkGDK.

Thing about this package is that it requires Visual C++ to develop. My eyes were like wide open when he said that. The last time I worked on that was during my APIIT R&D times at 1999 (if I'm not mistaken) and it was a boot camp of coding. Unlike the newer coding sets like (.NET and Java maybe) where it's more forgiving abit in terms of memory cleanup, my past experience tells me that C++ is not, and doesn't tell you that it's eating your memory.

Microsoft has come out the new edition for Visual C++ which is Visual C++ 2008. I've just downloaded, haven't installed, probably soon because the project starts on Friday and this will either bring me back memories or kill me.

Whichever comes first :)

Is it time for me to leave?

2008-06-06T16:32:00.002+08:00

This is my hardest post to blog and the hardest question I still have to ponder.

I've got a friend Mark who's just came back from the UK and is asking me when I'm going there to work and all, and seeing now with this price increase that just happened it's edging me towards it.

I've been pondering about this for so long I can't even remember and it's probably one that is stuck for my head for a long long time. I have this right of abode sticker in my passport that allows me to work and live in the UK for a indefinite period of time as I was born there.

I've also contacted the UK immigration via their website and I found out they have a well plan package for me should I go, for a minimal fee (149 pounds i think), they'll help me set up my bank accounts, handphone and optionally job placements, which is really great because it's very very hard to create a bank account there if you don't have a home address in the UK.

Everything seems set, the only thing thats hindering my plans is me.

I still like Malaysia for all it's worth. I also have a business that I'm working on here. To go to UK now is basically fold the whole thing up and move there, starting anew. It's a risky proposition, maybe even too risky for my taste.

UK is a boring place after 5-6pm, there's no yamcha, the food over there are too expensive to eat out, it's probably eat in and be a good guy waking up at the mornings and sleep at nights.

Also I like my friends in Malaysia. They are the best bunch I can possibly wish for to hang with. To go to the UK I'll probably have to know people again, and basically resetting my life.

One factor I want to go to the UK is their exchange rate. It's technically somewhat an advantage, and I heard that the IT field is in high demand, meaning I probably can get better offers and who knows if I start my business again there it'll maybe be better off than what I'm running here.

Another one is that our govt in Malaysia is horrendously bad. I don't really like to talk about politics on my blog, but time after time they have not done anything to help their country. My thinking that it's going worse, and probably be in very very bad shape in times to come. I know this part is the most selfish part of my life, but I don't want to be dragged down with it as well, and so is my reason of flying off.

I've been putting off this decision that I have to make because I don't want to. But seeing what things are going to look for here in the future. I think I may have to set one. Really fast.

Someone just shoot me and get it over with.

Brain Code

2008-06-05T12:13:00.002+08:00

more modular already.

RunBrain(Soul sl)
{

if (hp.receivedYamchaEvent==true)
InitiateYamchaEvent(wallet,keys,hp,specs);

EmailList = computer1.receiveEmail();

while (!EmailList.EndOfEmailList())
{
if (MatchClientList(EmailList.getEmail(), ClientNames)
{
if
(EmailList.getProjectTime() > getFreeSchedule()
{
EmailList.Reply("Cannot sorry");
}
else
{
ProjectList.AddItem(EmailList.getProjectDetails());
}
}
EmailList.getNextEmail();
}

while (ProjectListItem.EOF)
{
WorkProject(ProjectListItem);
}

if
((Body.Status=IDLE)&&(Body.LastUpdatedStatusTimeInHours>8))
{
InitiateWalkProcedure(PlazaDamas);
}

}

I'm now annoyed I can't do tabs in Blogger. >(

Being older....

2008-05-30T06:19:00.003+08:00

I seriously need to post more often.

As my last post was during March, and now is nearing the end of May to starting of June.

I think what I like to talk about now is that:

I miss the old times.

I miss being young.

Things were easier back then. Money was a concept that you earn as hard as you can and you use it on your expenses and you'll probably get by. Now with all the inflation issues, it's quite hard to live. I thought initially it's Malaysia, but it's also affecting other countries. Like my friend Mark said as he's staying in London, working as a doctor, was feeling the brunt of the housing costs and expenses over there.

But also things were more happier for me personally as well way back before. I am not so alone as I am now, and also not such a workaholic. Because most if not all of my friends are working longer and longer we don't get a chance to go out and it makes it feel...like bleh. Just going back through my previous posts also makes me sigh once in a while. Nowadays, it's mostly work, client calls, computer problems and once in a while some drinks to forget the issues that we had. A boring day cycle.

I'm also not keen of getting old. I have most of my friends getting married and some even having kids. I think I'm at the time I can't be like a kid like that and talk alot of crap (although I still do most of the time). It's just that I'm not really ready to be at the group (although i'm at 27 this year and close to being 30 in 3 years time) to settle down or like just be still.

I need to run, thats probably what drives me to being self-employed. I still like the adventure of having to trying to find money to make ends meet although it's laborious and probably torturous like that. I'm a soul with a fire that I don't want it to burnt out. As probably as long as I can hold this out this will be my fire in me.

I saw this thing on Discovery about the stars after they don't have enough certain gas to burn ( I'm not sure what the gas is sorry ) it'll turn into a white dwarf, then as it gets smaller it pulls the necessary gases together, turning to a red dwarf, trying to burn as many resources as it can, and eventually turn a super nova ( I think i may get this wrong, bear with me, it's an analogy ). I feel that my life will be like that.

Which brings back to the problem of being old. I can't run as fast. I probably can't judge and analyse as fast when I was younger. Also I probably need to wear specs soon, which I'm not used to.

Is it because my mental age is stuck? Maybe my brain think's it's 21, but since my body is 27, it cannot do it's job as efficiently as it used to.

Sims 3!

2008-03-19T14:10:00.001+08:00

Sims 3 coming out in 2009! I need a time warp!

http://www.emptyforce.net/blog/2008/03/10/the-sims-3-pcguk-scans/

Turning Point

2008-03-09T00:38:00.004+08:00

Hey guys, hmm alot to write about today:

Alot of work has been piling up. Am trying to finish but I had to just solve one of my biggest problem about it. My feelings. And I did. Which I'll probably write the events and see how it goes.

I'm quite happy that (if) interactive have move to a new place. They have supported me and my company for a while now and I'm very grateful to them, I give them all the best. I feel of the joy of gratitude and humility.

Work has been piling up, deadlines have been missed, and are now rescheduled with my head on the line. The pressure is on. I feel like a purpose.

I've made a confession, and I got a rejection. Although it's abit unfortunate, the thing is, I'm somewhat happy, because I tried. I feel the yearn, the gain and the lost.

I've gotten in touch with friends I've long lost, and I met them again seeing the joys of just talking and meeting up. To just talk and to meet. I feel alive.

I've gotten to notice to stare at things that I don't usually stare when I'm so busy. I stare at the brightness of the sky, and I stare at the life of a grass. I feel the serenity of things.

I found out that most Opposition has overtaken our main states in the elections and it's still ongoing. Something that I feel that justice is coming.

http://malaysiakini.aizuikmal.com/

I also lost quite a sum of my money, mostly due to paying programmers and paying for advertising and bills. But I feel good doing that. I feel the payment is worth the effort.

All of these time, I laughed, I cried, I jumped, I got fustrated, I fell in love, I fell out of love, I worked, I slacked, I ran, I stopped, I looked, I act, I fell, I got up again, I gained, I lost, I learned, I taught, I screamed, I consoled, I befriended, I berated, I achieve, I got rejected, but most of all I live, and am still living.

My name is Adrian Lim Boon Seong. And I'm now a human being. :)

Thank you for listening.

Dual-personality

2008-02-27T01:59:00.003+08:00

I think I'm having a dual-personality complex, which maybe an ala-Dr Jeckyl and Hyde style. I'm not sure if this is common but I kinda have a feeling that I seem to have it.

Being my scientific self I now have to split them to the different personalities that they are and name it accordingly:

Adrian-Alpha
This Adrian is the cheerful happy go lucky one which tends to forget where most of his stuff are (including his car). Usually his lighter side of things compensates his lack of work ethics:

Pros:

Seems to get along with people sorta well. (hopefully)

Cons:

Seems to forget to do work, laze around, watch anime, fall asleep unless cafffeinated.

This candidate also seems to have only 2 emotions, happy/sad.

Adrian-Beta
This Adrian is the most efficient of the two. Other than conjuring countless formulas and workarounds he manages to come out with faster development and output. Unfortunately he gets fustrated easily and therefore doesn't work well with people:

Pros:

Very efficient, get things done ASAP.

Cons:

Unable to work with people, have a hard time to figure out the opportunity cost of talking to people instead of starting to work.

This candidate ALSO seems to have only 2 emotions, evil grin/angry.

As you can see from the description above. They tend to balance out one another, the problem arises when one of them seems to come into play more than the other. This I find quite interesting. I guess this what makes us human after all. And there are of course some similarities, like both candidates drink coffee. ALOT. Irregardless of the type. I think it's probably when you can classify yourself you then see the true picture and nature of who you are and strategize effectively.

Quarter life crisis

2008-02-26T04:00:00.001+08:00

Sigh. I think I'm having this now:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter_life_crisis

Conjob.

Brain code

2008-02-14T13:46:00.002+08:00

I distinctively remember putting this code b4 :) Anyway just to get it updated to the latest version.

while (alive)
{

if ((currentday==work)&&(currentday<=deadlineweek - 2weeks)) PlayTeamFortress2();

if ((currentday==work)&&(currentday<=deadlineweek)) Work();

if (stress > 10.0)
DrinkAlcohol("JohnnieWalker");

if (stress <> 3.0)
PlayMusic("James Blunt", "1973");
else
PlayMusic("Random");

while (caffeinelevel < expectedCaffeine)
{
caffeinelevel = drinkCoffee();
}

}

}

Valentine's day comments

2008-02-14T13:20:00.002+08:00

HMMMMM...

I really have no idea what to say for this day except that I really think it's a good marketing concept.

Florists and Chocolate sellers gets to sell their items 5-6 times more than the original price for that particular day. Restaurants get booked all day at that time and it's now the seller's market rather than a buyer one. One day I might think of having a florists just opening at Valentine's Day and the profits will most likely last me through the whole year. :)

Personally, I've never been quite fond of Valentine's Day, all the sane reason that it's a girl's market on that day. If the boyfriend/husband/going to boyfriend fella/cuddle b*tch didn't buy enough flowers for the girl (which please noted that the flowers are more marked up than you buy a Starbucks coffee compared to Kopi O) next to another girl, that girl will get upset, and no happy hour for you (cuddle b*tches are abit of an exception as they were not getting any anyway).

Definition of cuddle b*tch: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/manifestations.html

However, out of sheer insanity and concept reasoning flying out of the window, I did tried to ask someone out for dinner, but she's not free. Then again, this is a bout of temporal madness that happens to me once in a full moon and extreme boredom seems to contributed into the factor. Now listening to 1973, pondering at new code, little did I know that this will hurt for awhile.

I think Mr.Valentine's kinda dead for a while, but his influence is slowly growing.

CNY 2008

2008-02-05T23:31:00.000+08:00

First, Happy CNY 2008.

Having a CNY is always a quiet moment for me. This is because everyone is goes to Penang, and I'll be left alone at home. So I gotta clean, eat, take out the trash of my stuff by myself. And usually it's a good thing.

This year however I'm abit worried that I'm not going back. My only living grandfather had a stroke and he's in Penang and I didn't go back to see him because of my work commitments.

Something tells me I'm going to regret what I'll do today.

I'm an Internet Guru

2008-01-23T14:42:00.000+08:00

in response to all the emails i've been getting

Hi there,

I'm sure I have met you in my blog, otherwise you won't be seeing this.

Let me tell you the greatest thing about the Internet today is that you can make loads of money and I'm glad to find this speaker who can let you know how. His name is Adrian Lim.

Who is he you might ask?

Adrian Lim has been successfuly branded several marketing ideas, such as "Mad Cow" and "Green Cow"and has turned into a worldwide phenomenon. He has also revolutionize the "talking crap" creativity that many people have been astounded for decades to come.

He is also the man behind the "I drink damn alot of coffee until I can get to hospital" method and now he shall share with you this revolutionary method because he can't seem to be rich with this method BUT he shall be rich by teaching you guys and you pay him the cash method :)

If you would like to know more, I'll be happy to see ~~your wallet~~ you. Let us help you be ~~poorer~~ more rich that you can ever imagine!

Facebook addicted

2008-01-12T14:49:00.000+08:00

Just to add a post in regards to Facebook. Initially a website that I do not understand to a point of marvel engineering of software and web.

I got introduced to Facebook by (if) and that was by accident. They needed people to add so I put my name and my ugliest mugshot in town (deleted already). When I went to the home screen, the horror that I thought of so many different things that are happening. 20 vampire bites, 30 shot kills, 50 pies thrown, and many more. I closed it without a second thought, thinking OMG I'm that old and people younger than me are finally using a system which I cannot comprehend ( as a software techie couple of years ago and a software developer now, it hurts when you see little kids use software or something on the web that you don't understand T_T).

So then my friend Harvey introduced this game of Triumph, which basically is a military game which launches different armies of infantry, tanks and jets together. Seeing that most of my friends (if not all) are in facebook already, I have to give it a shot. To go into the unknown that I feared and got bested the most.

After trying to filter the endless trudges of what is needed and what is all stuff of fancy, I finally found out that you install Applications to your Facebook. This by itself I believe is probably one if not the only one thing genius about it. It's like your computer is on the website and you install applications, genius. After that, I installed Triumph and started playing. And then I recognise the marvel of the software engineering that is Facebook.

This brings me back to those days when computers didn't have colour, and everything that you want to use wasn't point and click. It was typing on a screen and hopefully it'll run the game that you wanted. You put in a 5.25" piece of magnetic strip covered in disk into the drive and hope it runs your 4-16 color game, and you hope that you didn't bend it if not you wasted your money. And in those days, computers were horrendously expensive. It's a luxury item that you buy, like a VAIO today or even worse, a VAIO small PC (the small handheld one, last I heard it's 10k now).

As the rate of things evolve, I would like to thank the developers of it all. True, the hardware does provide the forefront of engineering and provides the platform in which we develop, but without the software that encompasses that technology, the hardware will not be famous.

So cheerios to all you nerds out there, and let us code the nation for the better :)

Time goes by too fast.....

2008-01-06T11:41:00.000+08:00

As some of you might know, every Sunday evening I'll have dinner with my dad and sometimes he brings his childhood friends. One of them has a daughter which I meet once in a while and became friends. So once in a while we will meet up and talk about gadgets and her shopping and all that.

I just got an sms from my dad that she passed away as she was knocked down by a car in Penang. I was seriously in a state of disbelief when I got that.

Rest in peace Shu Zanne, I'll see you when I get there.

After a hard day of work

2008-01-05T11:48:00.000+08:00

After the rushing deadline that we have tried to achieve last Friday, everyone made a sigh of relief and call it for the week. Weekend's coming!

The thing is, I don't like weekends. I won't have anything to do and I have a nagging feeling of my projects ahead until Monday.

Also, my brain on weekends goes on a rewind and thinks back on the past I don't really want to think about.

I need to work, I need to forget.

Streamyx needs to go to hell

2008-01-01T19:22:00.000+08:00

Sorry can't seem to blog because of my internet. It's dead.

The cool part in all this is that it's 4 days already. The technician came yesterday, checked it and said that it's from their side.

Then the call support called me to check if it's fixed because the same technician said it's case closed.

....

WTF U GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT COMPANY THINKING THAT ALL YOUR BALLS TOGETHER CAN COME UP WITH SOME SOLID INFRASTRUCTURE BUT IN ACTUAL FACT YOU GUYS ARE JUST JERKING ON EACH OTHER WHILE SATISFYING YOUR NEEDS WHEN ALL OF US ARE SUFFERING IN THIS HELL HOLE THAT WE CALL STREAMYX MY GOD THE HORROR OF OUR COUNTRY'S MORONIC LOGGING OF CUSTOMER SERIVICE IT'S A WONDER WITH TERRABYTES OF INFORMATION COMPUTERS CAN FUCKING STORE CAN YOU BECOME FUCKING GAY AND JUST HIDE LIKE A FUCKING MORONIC COWARD WHENEVER TROUBLE ARRIVES, YEAH I BET YOU STILL PISS IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS YOU FUCKING RETARD.

Done.

God Damn Bored

2007-12-28T08:39:00.000+08:00

Before I forget, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

But, I'm so bored.

I'm kinda thinking of going for a trip but then I kinda think it's kinda waste of money. I mean I'm not a guy who goes out to another place and I will be kinda lost and afraid.

I remember last time when I was in APIIT after my college days I will sometimes by myself take a bus to shopping centres, which I think in most cases is 1 Utama. I would just walk around and look at books, at gadgets, but also I look at people.

I don't mean that I stare and stalk a person, but the observation of what they do. I see couples who hold their hands and walk around together, a family who has dad, a mom and their kids who are eating together and the kids will be fidgeting and all that.

I like to watch people for their social interaction, but I think it's a personal matter that I watch.

You see, my family was fantastic before I was 10 ( please note, that my family now is still fantastic, just not as good before 10 ). When I was 10, it's kinda different story. I was told by my mom and dad that they will have to split ways, and tears started pouring out of my eyes. And life wasn't the same since.

I then watch things that hurt things. Like because my dad has gone behind my mom's back and been together with another lady (now my stepmom), I can see the grief that my mom had to go through, and she had to take care of 3 of us which I think she is a strong lady.

I also don't see my dad often. We see him every Sunday which is kinda like the standard thing to do but he's kinda busy with his work and business, as am I. So usually when we meet up, we will talk something about business. But it's more like I have to put up a professional face so that I can meet up with my dad.

So I think my relationships haven't been that great also because I have this tendancy to push people away when they are too close to me. I think it's because I don't want to get hurt again when I am 10.

So maybe thats why I go to shopping centres by myself. Sometimes I will walk in Curve or Ikano and just sit at Starbucks while looking around. When I see things that involve a family I like to watch longer. It's probably maybe because I wish I was there.

I wish my age is less than 10.

dual-personality

2007-12-22T02:42:00.000+08:00

As I was slaving away for my work during the holidays, I got an sms from a good friend of mine, Kuan Ling who is Irene's housemate at the previous time (to those who are lazy to read my previous chapters, Irene is my ex which I think it was 3-4 years ago), who was wondering if I am free to get a drink.

So just a couple of hours ago we went for dinner and drinks and we had an interesting conversation on things that have happened for the past 4 years, for example, how her mother seems to call me prawn cracker boy because last time when I was staying in their place, her mother would make this fantastic prawn crackers and I will just eat until I finished the jar. I didn't really know that until she told me about it. Lol.

One of the conversations went to the fact that I have this very bad temper and it probably caused alot of rift at that time and also the eventual break-up. As I was talking more about it I kinda thought alot back at that time.

I seriously don't know what happens to me when I do that. It's sorta like I blackout and my mouth is making remarks and actions that I don't seem to control. This is terrifying because once that is over I tend to see scared faces or angry ones, and I'm not sure what to do about it. It's sorta like when you're working and when you go to get a cup of coffee your little brother or sister that comes in halfway, messes things up and then when you come back people are looking at you in disbelief. Except that this little brother or sister is you, and you know it unfortunately.

I think since then it has started to slow down, unfortunately it happened again during my tenure in (if) during some issues with the sister company. Once again I seem to happen to appear at the wrong place at the wrong time when I come to.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm taking full responsibility of all I do, because it's my body and it's actions supposedly is consequential to me. I just can't seem to control it, and my subconscious is evil as ever as it can come up with the nastiest things to hurt the person.

To all the people I've hurt in my life, I seriously apologise. It wasn't my intention and I think I deserve what issues that I'm feeling which is insecurity and loneliness. My apologies as well if I sometimes sound superficial or very awkward when I want to open up and talk, because I've tried so hard to hold this away and I don't want this to get out.

These demons are within me, please wait a moment while I try to kill them once and for all.

Thank you.

Lifeless Working Machine

2007-12-18T16:25:00.000+08:00

As I went through the day collecting cheques for development and systems that I've done. I should feel great coz I'm doing the work that I love and getting paid for it.

The problem is I feel empty....very empty.

When I was in Plaza Damas picking up another cheque, I remember all the sacrifices that I have to do to get this far. Working late nights, lack of sleep, playing too much games by myself, has made me one grumpy old man.

And working on Christmas / New Year is not helping either. Well if I'm not working, I'll just be wasting away somewhere again.

Probably I should follow Sanyen's (my client's company creative director) advice. Be a sorhai and spend all your money in buying a BMW 3 series and then make yourself panic coz you got no money. Which in theory will encourage myself to make more money.

Or file for bankruptcy.

Bleh.

3 months

2007-12-09T13:47:00.000+08:00

Ouch! I just realised I haven't been blogging for 3 months. This is bad. Ok lets see what happened:

My xbox 360 hasn't got the Red Light of Doom yet unlike my 1st one ( though by saying it will give bad luck so I gotta start my ritual of apologies to my 360 later ). I've got a few games for it, namely the Assassin's Creed, Guitar Hero 3 and I'm now looking to get Mass Effect after Eugin showed me the game.

Team Fortress 2 is a damn good game which must have a paragraph by itself. You can check it out here. Initially it gave me a bad impression because of Steam (which is a intermediate program you need to run before you can run Team Fortress 2), but as time goes by it gives a more casual implementation of the game I once used to play with the gang from APIIT 10 years ago. Lol.

Also my company's abit more mature now. It's got some business, and I got an intern to help me work on some stuff. Jason's friend Joshua is helping out do some coding here and there and he's a good programmer, quite a shame that he's doing engineering though, but thats what he wants to do, so I can't complain.

I think one of the things that has a biggest change is the amount of my friends who are getting married or are married already. It kinda shows that our age group is the stage where we have to be mature and responsible for things already and more to work, etc.

But I do miss my past sometimes. Previously during my college, I can go back to the nearest cybercafe and like Cheers, just scream for battle and start playing with your friends till the wee hours of the morning, eat dimsum at tmn megah and sleep on bed happy. Now unfortunately there are deadlines that needs to finish, and having to represent my company is quite taxing, and though there are some games that I can play online or the 360, it kinda doesn't have the same experience.

True, new change is to path to the future, but old memories makes us who we are today.

Tech Ed 2007

2007-09-11T18:07:00.000+08:00

Hey guys,

Sry for my late update. I've been going through alot of inner mind thinking of what I shall do in my life. Not sure what field should I specialise in. Anyway here's the major thing that I've been recently (other than my birthday, but that will be another topic).

TechEd 2007

For those who are not sure what it is Microsoft TechEd is a conference made by Microsoft that explains to their users on what upcoming products and to get a headstart on what does it do + giving a try by having their beta dvds.

So after the explanation, the verdict. I only went there for 1 out of 4 days so my opinion is varied. I must say that their breakout sessions (which are individual sessions that explains about either a new product or providing help on certain issues) is a mixed bag. Almost most of the foreigner speakers are good. They talk because they want to, and they most likely don't have a script and will explain on whats going on. I've only heard 1 local guy speak in the breakout session and I don't think it was good. There were a total of 8 people in the room and some including me were leaving. It feels like he was compelled to do it more than if he wants to do it or not.

They also had the instructor hands on lab, which allows users like me to get a step by step tutorial on how a certain program will work with an instructor. Unfortunately this is usually full, and they reserve only up to 30 people per lab, which considering the amount people there is at the hundreds, maybe more, it's quite hard to get a seating.

They also have a lab which doesn't have a instructor, but you get a list of topics that you want to try, give it to the lab guy and he'll pass you a manual and the computer you use. After that go to that machine and try out the things you can do.

Unfortunately in both cases, the computers in the lab were not powerful enough. Technically speaking, A computer with 1GB of RAM should be suficient, however they're running the items on Virtual PCs (which basically is a method of running an operating system inside another operating system), and that causes alot of slow issues with the system.

Also I think the organisers has also done a very poor job. Although they were quite kind and corteous in helping out a providing directions. They did a bad job in providing the lunches and to organise for the lab event. For the lunches, they had two main sections where the lunches are, so the queue is enormous and I'm not surprised if a person has waited about an hour in the lunch line so that they can get their lunch and run for the next breakout session. The lab events it would have been much better if there were more computers and more labs so that we can get to use it. The best would be if they have a computer for every user.

Anyway it looks like thats about what I could comment on TechEd and I'm seriously having doubts of going again the next year.

Staying at the Capitol Hotel

2007-07-13T16:41:00.000+08:00

Hi all,

I got a seminar on Monday, Tuesday, sorry not on Sunday as I mentioned to Eugin. Friday was a small preview of the seminar for me so I have to learn accounting soon. Dieded. Anyway I've got a room in Hotel Capitol which is just outside Lowyat Plaza. I've taken some pictures of the room and I'll give a preview of what this room is.

Basically it's called a 10-room where they tried to modernize 10 of the rooms and charge on a higher price. Due to lack of rooms in other hotels in Bukit Bintang, I decided to try it out here. Just to let you know, the price of the room is 300++ per night so it's mighty expensive. Anyway here are some screenshots and reviews:

As you can see the rooms have been attempted to be modernize by using a whitish look. I find that the space is not too bad. It's not big but then it has a moderate size for you to walk around and the table space is also quite wide enough for me to put my laptop and my other things. My only gripe is the LCD TV is too close to the table, making it feel cramped when I'm on my laptop.

What I don't like about this place is the environment. They did try to best for you to escape from the bustle and hustle of the city by putting you at their highest level (20th floor) but you can still hear people horning their cars so they can get through around lowyat plaza.

And the view, sigh:

This is a view if I look up.

This is a view if I look down.

The phone system is also confusing. Please show me on the phone below what button do I press to get to my room service. I've placed the room service menu instructions below with the phone together for reference:

So I think it's a nice room, just that I find that it's not enough to justify the RM300++ of my money per night.

Cheers.

gg Vista

2007-06-09T04:43:00.000+08:00

I've attached this video of Chris Pirillo on his take on the Windows Vista and his decision on moving to XP. If you don't know him, he was a speaker in a show called Call For Help in the TechTV channel, and is a very avid fan of technology, and contributes to the software industry of any issues for the public. His blog is at chris.pirillo.com if you wanto look. Good stuff. Never I've met a gila techie such as him :). It's a long movie so thats abit of a fair warning.

I seriously believe that Windows Vista was not ready to be launched. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've just gotten my Microsoft Small Business Specialist tag and I love XP. Microsoft is also in a way a good company, but Vista is just too slow to work with for me. I've had driver and performance issues from day one. I've always admitted that Microsoft has been very responsive and helpful in their software development. Their software sucks when it first arrives but eventually it evolves to a much better one. They always listen and they always evolve, but evolving to Vista? I think it needs more time.

On installing the Vista, the only advantage I see is eye candy, unfortunately things went downhill from there. I couldn't get my video and my sound drivers working, having problems attaching drivers on the right places, and having my performance to work with Not responding windows dwindling, it's just not right for me.

So as i'm typing this blog, I've revert back to XP.

As in what Chris says, I'll see it on Service Pack 1...maybe.

The Mac Years

2007-04-23T22:09:00.000+08:00

The trusty emac

As some of you might be aware, I have this old eMac (not the intel one) lying around on my desk in my house. Now, after using it for a couple of days I've gotten hook to it again, clicking it with the at that time so cool 1 button mouse on the docks of it's very interesting and fludic OS. I haven't been using it since a year plus if I'm not mistaken, and usually if I do, i tend to use to check on websites now and then. Additionaly with the VAIO that I'm using at work, I tend to leave this behind to collect dust and it is evident on the keys that i'm typing now. But the Mac didn't failed, it didn't die. It just sat in a corner until it boots up, and it did. Runs just like when I first bought it. :)

The story of how I gotten a Mac was an interesting one. And the followers that have it (yes I'm talking to you Eugin). It all started around 2004 (if I'm not mistaken), where I first found out that the iPod mini has been releasing soon and is taking for preorders. Seeing it in action and seeing how small it was (at that time it was really small), I decided to proceed to MacAsia to preorder one and subsequently gotten the unit and was quite pleased at the design. As time grew by I started visiting MacAsia more to learn on the iPod (i know it's supposed to be easy but being a techie I needed to know if there are any tricks that we can use), and this particular machine caught my eyes. It was a egg shaped machine called the eMac and it looks like an aesthetically beautiful machine that it's display also seems so much more clearer than my PC that I have in the house. Compared to the iBooks at the time, the emac was technically faster abit and also was brighter than the iBooks. It looked quite cool, and it didn't help that the Mac guy was saying that it's a beautiful machine in the world and faster than any PCs on the planet. And it was cheap. For RM3699, it was a steal as a Mac was usually expensive. So I brought out my cash and paid for it.

As I was going to pay for the machine, my friend Eugin was tagging along to see what the Mac was about. He kept saying for the price you pay you could get a horrendous powerful PC that can be placed in your house, which I dismissed by saying it was beautiful ( at that time this was very different than what I used to be , as I used to be talking about getting the best spec machine for the buck, and sometimes I still do today ). So off we went to MacAsia and bought one of the units and got the sales guy to help us bring it to the parking lot.

It needed the sales guy, which we found out the first disadvantage. It was heavy. It's 10kg in weight and it's horrendously hard to bring it from one place to another. The other disadvantage was it's size, though I think it's the box that's maybe the issue. It couldn't fit at the back of Eugin's Proton Satria as it couldn't wedge thru the gap to the back seat. So ultimately I had to sit at the back while the emac had been seatbelted to the front seat.

Once I got back home with the emac, lugging it upstairs was a pain. I had to make 3 rests during the time I climbed the stairs jus to be able to get it to the table. But the setup, flawless. There's 4 components. The emac itself, the keyboard, the mouse and the power plug. Plug everything together and start it up. Everything is there all the OS has already been ready. And it was good to go. And it was beautiful. More beautiful that any of the machines that I've worked on before.

Afer a while, Eugin who was initially a PC supportor, started buying Mac things to. First he gotten the iBook, then the keyboard and the mouse (which was weird since the iBook has already a keyboard and a trackpad, and also the keyboard itself costs RM299 and the mouse costs RM199, horrendously expensive), the iPod mini, the USB fan cooler, the Airport Express and more. It was a Mac year at that time.

Well, why did it stopped after the following years? Well, we found out that because it's a Mac, it's hard for us to customise controls since it was built on a Unix based OS, so we're not sure if we know or even dare to tinker on it. The speed also was not as fast as some if not most of the PCs at that time. Playing warcraft 3 with your friends on Battlenet makes you lag as your computer cannot keep up with the high graphic requirements which you could easily afford with the price of the PC. And an interesting discovery when I first entered (if) interactive was that the Macs, which used to be a designers required tool, seem to have lagged in terms of Macromedia Flash performance, so the guys are not able to build it and test it on a Mac, coz it won't show the performance and hence lagged behind. Eventually with new sophisticated PCs in the market and the unknown of the Macs going into Intel, the eMac eventually sat at the corner of the desk, peacefully quiet, to make room for new PCs and notebooks that has come to my path.

After having grouses with Microsoft Windows Vista however, I kept looking at this eMac and I started finding out that open source tools are on the Mac as well. I've optimised it with some tools that I've found on the Internet and most if not all of them are free. While I'm writing this blog on the emac, it feels simple and nice. And then it occurred to me. This was the ONLY machine that I bought that wasn't based on hardcore spec. It was because everything was simple. No convoluted jargons on whats happening, no intricate shortcut keys to press, just drag and drop everywhere. It was simple, and that was what the eMac had done for me for that 1 year.

I'm thinking of another Mac year again, hows that for a change?

vlogs

2007-04-19T19:31:00.000+08:00

It's near the middle of April and I present to you

VLOGS!

Apparently it's the in thing where we blog based on videos instead of text. Well I've given it my two attempts and we'll see if this is more convenient or helpful to say the least.

Attempt 1:

Hmm, not too good.

Attempt 2:

Ahh much better.

Enjoy.

marriage, and looking back

2007-02-16T16:18:00.000+08:00

Ah it seems alot of people are getting married, which is cool, yet it makes me feel old. Hehe. I always see myself as the young kid which I hope that I can get married soon to a girl I love, but always thought as in the much future. Now it feels like it's going to a be a more distant future, or none at all.

Truth to be told, I still miss my ex. I always had this dream where I'll go to Penang and to find her and to say I'm sorry, but I heard that she's with someone so if she's more happy than when she was with me I will not disturb that, because she's happy. It's as simple as that.

I miss the days where she would annoy the hell out of me that I can't wear my favourite green shirt or the time she keeps on asking me to shave. Though it was mere annoyances back then, it's what I miss, ah well, the good old days.

As I was writing that just now it feels better to write it off my chest, and so, happy valentine's day to this blog that I update so sparingly. And back to my work again, as usual.

X360: Resistance is futile!

2006-12-17T16:17:00.000+08:00

When I first got this Xbox 360. Alot of people said that it was too expensive, too big, too hot, too little games, too white, too need a lcd tv, but now.....

There are 8 XBOXERS members, even the naysayers have bought one. MUAHAHAHA..

Microsoft should give me commission for this :(

Anyway, when's your turn to have an Xbox? :D

You don't forget old friends

2006-10-13T00:55:00.000+08:00

On a couple of days ago I was "booked" for a meeting with the MC gang, which was kinda nice and bring back memories. I imagine the time after APIIT we will go to Damansara Utama to a cybercafe name Art de Net to play Starcraft. No online games, however exciting it may be, is the same as having half or all of the seats taken in a cybercafe with your friends, now that is fun :).

So anyway my friend Eugin came over and showed me a board game which I have forgotten the name. It then fascinates me as it kinda keeps you imagine on what it becomes than having to see on the computer with the awesome 3d graphics and can't imagine it differently.

All in all, it was quite fun on a 2 player mode, then I've gotta run for a dinner meeting, sigh. Thanks Eugin for keeping in touch, it's good to know that there will be a "chance" another LAN gaming session will be in sight ^ ^. Thanks to the MC clan as well, if it's still there :D.

I have to remind myself that:
No matter how much money I earn or how big a car I have or how big a house I live, it will always be empty without friends.

(if) as a family

2006-06-27T07:00:00.000+08:00

One of my colleagues, Lee seng, had a sharing session which brings up a very nice activity to do during our meeting. What he suggested was that we each have a paper with our names on it, and it goes round to the rest of the people describing about that person in a one line sentence.

Here's mine to show, and I'm quite happy with the comments I'm receiving:

- Extremely funny and comical great guy to have around in any company!! Intellectual too in terms of speciality and field :). Keep it up man!

- ez going fellow. hope you can get out more frmo computers and PS.

- very super cool guy. Funny and caring, outstanding character. Very good persuasive skill. Just need to control temper once in a while. You're a great fren!

- Stop being homophobic and we not homos! :P

- Should try other drinks than COFFEE!

- Drink more water

- You apologise too often!! Makes people feel bad. Above all, you are very helpful and friendly.

- Everyone is his personal priest. Ha ha!

- Need to be more diplomatic.

- Damn good programmer.

- An Asset

- Say 'SORRY' or 'THANK YOU' less and more apropriately.

- Talk softer and more gentle.

- Come in the morning la. seldom see you coz we go back when u come. Nice to chat wif u man.

- Play more DOTA!

- chill out or relax when angry/upset.

- get more sleep, maybe.

- cheerful, joking and make the office more timely!

- Interesting guy, Laugh alot for no reason! Likes to say "TARPAU".

- interesting coffee guy.

- I like your communication way.

- Sometimes quite weird.

Some to tell me who I am, some to advice me on what I could do to be better. But this is the best process I've ever been too. After this, I'm putting it in my wallet, probably going to keep it for a very long time. Maybe when I'm 50, I'll take out this weathered yellow piece of paper to see it again. Who knows, maybe I can really find myself in the process. Thanks Lee Seng. Thanks (if). :)

Battlefield 2006

2006-06-04T17:44:00.000+08:00

Journals from Private FBDX, 19/05/2006 1000 hours

As we stepped into the warzone, pellets were shooting evreywhere. People were screaming and doing barrel rolls to stay alive. Breathing through my helmet and equipped with body armour to stay alive after being shot, I ran to the nearest covers that I could find to prevent from enemy fire, a big wooden plank.
Having the fear of getting shot and running from one place to another to achieve our objectives makes the andrenaline rush to the maximum, with the heart trying to pump gallons of useful blood to keep my muscles mobile.
Remembering my training from the Rainbow Six and the Ghost Recon team, alot of tactics I have learned I have used now, but it has not prepared me for the randomness of the attack. It can come from anywhere, from the front, from the side, and even from your team mates. This is quite shocking.
As I then prepared to shoot,

hehehh...welcome to the (if) party that happened on Friday 19/05/2006. Had a very good paintball session, followed afterwards by the X-men movie. Here are some of my good friends who are blogging about it. Cheers.

Ah bonk's site
Jason's site
Lee Nyin's site

Cheers.

How Dell makes it big

2006-04-22T19:13:00.000+08:00

As you might know or might not know. I'm a fan of company biographies. You know. How it's started and all that. Well my latest subject is on Dell. Basically, how Dell does it?
Well, in my opinion, it's because they listen to the customers. Do you know that they have a customer relationship management system just for you and me who bought the machines? Once they got your quotation number they know nearly everything about you. It's like going for an appointment to the doctor. Would you go to a doctor who has no knowledge of your medical history, or to a one who has bucketloads of your previous illnesses, allergies, and medicines that you've just taken?
My thoughts exactly :)
I think this is now the new age of things, it's how much you know about your customer and how much you serve them that counts. And I'm trying hard to make my training that way.
My belief is always this:
The profits that you reap is directly proportional of your percentage of your company devoted to serving your customers.

Deal with your previous employer

2006-04-03T15:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes keeping in touch with your employer helps. I've got a deal with them which is quite lucrative, but makes me work like hell. Sigh.
Back to work.

The expense of an office

2006-03-27T18:26:00.000+08:00

Sigh, things that I've to spend is abit high for it. Installation of airconds, the getting of microsoft licenses, computers (which are given by IF, thanks), furniture and computer networking equipment. I think I've spent with the help for my dad about 10k for everything. Yikes, talk about overspending.

Anyway with this hopefully it gets to a better start, by leveraging on more students at one time. It's a challenge, and most probably a tiring one, but it's the risk to the return that I what thrive at.

Hope this works.

The new office

2006-03-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

Well, after a few months, things are going abit stable. The training's been working out quite nicely. Having to run around alot, but at least I get paid for it. So I can define now as stable. But then the unexpected thing happens.
I sat around with one of my good business buddies for a drink (in Starbucks, what else), he proposed that we should take a big risk and set up an office. So that we did.
By April we will start opening our office doors for training at SS3. All 1800sf of them. and a interesting history to that.
SS3 is area where my first house that I remember to be in is. It has gotten me alot of friends to start with and just hanging around the public school. I remember the ice cream sticks that I used to fight with. I also remember the first computer that I have (nerd post). the Macintosh, at that place.
Now going back there when I was previewing the office I see alot of familiar places. The school, the drain that I use to fell off to, and my house. It brings back memories, and it doesn't feel like going to work.
It's like going home.

Being Me

2006-01-31T21:01:00.000+08:00

As time passes through your life, you get moulded in what you HAVE to do, not WHAT you want to do. I find this hard to accept. I think that sometimes thats why my close relationships doesn't seem to work. When people wants to mould me to a certain stereotype, such as to work hard and chasing money until there's no tommorow which for me personally is vain.

As you know, I've started this training business. Altough profits are important and money is the main motive, alot of business experts don't see money as the most motivational tool to propel your businesses forward. It must be deep within your heart that you want to help an objective to the world. That you are a saviour towards humanity by providing your service and/or product. If we take William Gates III from Microsoft for example, his basic aim is the ability to provide computing technology to the masses. Ford's basic aim is the ability to provide cars to the masses. Then you have profits :).

About mine? I want to teach the eldars, our should be respected generation for their wisdom, that computers help them. If I go out of business, I'm happy that I've done my duty, as every eldar would have known how to use a computer.

I could've work for a company, in fact I've been told numerous times to do so. But whats the point? To have more money? I like to crave for adventure, to feel the ups and downs of doing something. I always like to drive at the rough side of the road instead of a smooth one. Give me a choice of working like an ass, being humiliated, 12% chance to survive every month to get the biggest returns and to work with a constant salary, sitting in your cubicle oblivious to anything and I'll gladly pick the 12% chance anytime.

Please don't get mad or berated about this post. I don't intend to offend anybody, but this is my point of view. I can't change anybody's point of view, and I choose not to. But this is what I am. This is what God mould me to be. And being an unknown soul, at least I have a shred of identity and profile I can cling to.

Also, I like playing games. It's a fact. I don't deny it. I'm not an online addict, but I'm not against it either. I love having to spend 3 hours out of your working day playing with friends and laughing at it while losing that round of Dota or Counterstrike. I'm sorry peeps, but this is who I am, and I can't change it for anyone. Not my family, not my friends, not my loved ones as well.

This is me. Like a young bird who wants to learn how to fly by risking his life to come off the nest and to grow his wings stronger than to stay in the nest for all eternity, where it's safe, is me. I thrive on challenge, I thrive on connecting to people, but most of all, I don't think money is God. I have Him that I pray to. :)

Public Speaking, a fear more worse than death

2006-01-24T18:11:00.000+08:00

I've heard as a report that public speaking is the no.1 fear of many people, even more than the fear of death. Tommorow I shall attempt to go through that fear.

I've got a business meeting tommorow at 7am, and I hope that the presentation goes well. The presentations all gotta be in my head and to talk to 20 people. Lets see how it goes.

Fear is only in the mind so they say. But isn't all things from the mind?

Why nintendo has been doing so well

2005-12-28T10:14:00.000+08:00

I've just recently acquired myself with the Nintendo DS. Alot of people has asked me why did I do that since the PSP is so much better. I have to give thanks to Hazmer my good friend for this one.

First of all, PSP is good in certain things. One thing being graphics. They definately outbeat Nintendo DS in that arena, with bigger and clearer screens. But the thing about the DS is that it has really really fun, and I mean you can spend hours just enjoying yourself playing, games.

Most of the games in the PSP series are probably tied to 1 genre, racing, strategy, RPG most likely, adventure. The games in Nintendo ( not all, some I'm playing now ) are almost one of a kind. They've been always making things different and new, without having the same genre hit on you over and over again.

One game I'm enjoying so much right now is the Animal Crossing: Wild West, please visit this page if you have time. This game revolves on you in a simulation of...life. You can do anything you want in the town u've created. You can fish, pick fruits, get jobs, pay mortgage to get a better house, and it's fun and relaxing. Whats even better is that Hazmer just came over with my town via the wireless connection we had in his office and in my house, and it was so easy, all we had to do is I had to open my town gates and for him to come over and say HI. That was really fun.

My unfortunate peeve about this console is that unfortunately in Malaysia, there's no warranty, none at all. This is quite irritating unfortunately as I'm now experiencing a small blue discoloured pixel on the top LCD monitor. Not so annoying for animal crossing as most of the gameplay is at the bottom LCD and I don't have to see the top screen much. But this will quite limit the games that I might want to buy.

All in all, even with the dead pixel, I love this. Why? Because it's different. And I can't wait to see for more games that makes their own trend.

For those with Animal Crossing for the DS, friend codes please? :)

Christmas...and the new year

2005-12-18T05:35:00.000+08:00

Hmmm..it seems that christmas is near and Jesus Christ is going to have his birthday on this fateful 25th. This special event holidays that are going in an epic of happiness, except me.

Things in the business world is taking a toll on me. Sleepless nights, coffee overdose, twiching eyes, sore throats,coughs and colds. And I don't earn really that much, most of the time I'm at home contemplating on what to do next for the business.

And I also don't have any one I can be with. Yea, I've got friends to hang about on Christmas, but none that I can share my life with on the holidays, and the one that I do want to have in my life I seemed to have chased her out with my stupid primal jealousy and instinct.

So as I'm typing at the ungodly hour of 5.26am on a Sunday morning, I look back and see what I've achieved in 2005.

What was my resolution for 2005?
A new notebook, which I did get

What did I lose?
The very person that I care for.

My resolution for 2006?
To find who I am, and what I've become.

Go British?

2005-11-07T10:14:00.000+08:00

Thats right, I might be leaving to the UK. But I'm not sure when.
Just a summary of what I am, I am a birth product from the United Kingdom, which also means that I've got this ability to go back to the UK to live and work for an indefinite period of time.

Thing is, my whole lifestyle is made in such a way that I could survive better in the UK. I mean, i don't speak chinese, ever. Which makes it the better reason to go there, since mostly everyone there speaks English right? lol. Also it's cold, and I like cold. Nothing beats a freezing gust of wind blowing ur cheek and you wear like 3 pairs of shirts to stop yourself from getting frostbite.

But I have some pros to stay in Malaysia as well. For instance, everything's cheap in a sorta strange way. You have mamak food, cybercafe gaming for near free prices, and most importantly the friends that i've been with all these time. I'm sure going to have to consider all these options.

The worst part of your life is when you've gotta choose which homeland you support, the one that u came from or the one you grew up in. :(

financialphobia - the fear of doing any financial transaction

2005-09-23T14:17:00.000+08:00

LOl, I think I have that. Not that i mismanage money I believe. But going to the banks and all that makes me all scared and timid.
Just recently I had to create a new bank account for my business. And as I walked into the bank manager's office it gets abit more creepy. Her computer churns out jargons after jargons that I don't understand. What's not helping is her talking about the basic principles of the services I get attached to the bank account that I'm getting. After countless amount of forms that I have to fill up, I feel like a student checking to see if my forms are correct before giving it to the school teacher.
Every time the bank manager gives out a form, I'm like this noob asking stupid questions like "This name box, do i put in my name or the company name?" or "Whats the IC for my company name?". Lol. The horror.
It's a reason why I love internet banking so much. The stupid questions that I asked is already answered in the FAQs.

financialphobia lol.

One Tree Hill

2005-09-01T16:19:00.000+08:00

Just started watching this show and I find it really cool.
It talks about a bunch of people'slives initially basketball, to love, to hope, to pain, to victory and to defeat and to loss.
I like that show cause it reflects most of us. All of the things that we do we see it reflected by them, going through life, trying new things (sex included lol), and feeling their first losses.

If I remember correctly it wasn't that interesting when i was a teenager.

A half-demonic soul

2005-07-30T00:55:00.000+08:00

Hey, so sorry for the long lag. Been alot of things. Some good and some bad. Still lifeless last I checked.

I've also found out that I might be possesed by a demon spirit. When I'm being hurt for some odd reason, or disappointed, rage comes in. And it's not ordinary. I think things of ways to hurt the person, but surprisingly not physically. I try to hurt them mentally, financially and socially. It keeps getting into my head. I have different scenarios of what to do, plus backup plans. God. This is not good.

Had a fight with Irene, which wasn't really good. The demonic side took over and next thing I know I'm not with her. It wasn't good, and I'm dying to be with her.

But I know that she has to stay away from me. I can't be controlled.

Deus succurro mihi!

Trying back to be me

2005-03-10T00:59:00.000+08:00

So sorry, I know my blog been's kind crap, just not feeling myself right now.

It's hard having a partner sometimes. We've been having damn lot of arguments. Always she's right, always she's the know it all. I'm just the loser. Thats all there is. I don't even have time to do the things that I like doing. After my long hard day of work, I was hoping there was some time I can just relax and be cool past my usual midnight curfew, but unfortunately this is also being tampered with.

I haven't been myself. I've not been playing games for so long now, that it sucks. I wish I can go back and play the games that I want to play instead of this bullshit where you have to work your ass off to earn your gritty dollars to make yourself better.

This is ridiculous. I have to argue to get my life back.

Trying to delegate

2005-03-01T11:37:00.000+08:00

I like teaching. It's just that I don't like to do it all day. Maybe I'm trying to get someone else to do the teaching. But I can't find a good fella to do it.

Will keep trying. Damn it's hard.

Don't know what to do

2005-02-03T17:06:00.000+08:00

Hmm, well, after a while trying to be with Irene all the time. It seems that it wasn't right that I was sacrificing so much time with her and yet she goes, jeez, clubbing. It's weird, but it sucks nonetheless.

So back to where I am, nothing on Chinese New Year, no work until then. Maybe even no friends to hang out with.

No games to play.

I'm back to where I'm started, an unknown soul.

Fuck.

Sux to have a divorced family

2005-02-02T16:29:00.000+08:00

This kinda sucks. After planning to go to Penang with my Dad, my mom threatened me to go with her or else she'll go overseas. After this whole crap, I'm staying here. sigh, gotta tell this bad news to Irene.

Sux.

Back to training

2005-02-02T15:26:00.000+08:00

Hmm, ever since my fiasco with the office rentals and my one shot small fame of able to get some cash in my pockets. I've decided I've needed someting to build on. So I'm building my computer training. Again.

This time, with some trainers who's committed to help me train, all I have to do find clients. Which is sorta hard, considereing I'm an IT kind of guy, but it's challenging and I like it, talking to people to get them to come to my training.

Pretty soon I'm going to apply for a virtual office and a business bank account, so that'll should be fine. Anyway we'll see how it goes. Sigh.

Wish me luck.
Cheers.

Happy with a contract deal :)

2005-01-26T15:54:00.000+08:00

Wow, now I feel like how a person who has no limits in a business. I was out going to get ready for training, when my client called, and wanted a project to be done, some computer thingy. Out came along, looking for people who can help me develop this project, and lo and behold, i've got another friend who help me did the whole project all together. We've met, got the cash, and took the markup between them. So I kinda made money, in a couple of days, and the amount? About how much I earn during a month of training. I then think to myself, I love making this kind of deals. Able to try to find clients to do projects, and getting others to help me make the projects. Woot. Nice.

I'm done, tired, need to sleep. Cheers you all.
Adrian

Long week, got fired, and got sick

2005-01-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

Argh, just got a client, and my shareholders(aunties) were so slow in paying me in order I can buy the necessary utilities (wifi, office supplies) for him to use, so unfortunately he left. Being quite pissed, I started arguing with them about how useless their company is if they're not doing anthing to it. Being shareholders, they don't do much. Just sit down on a Saturday dinner and talk about things to do but then does nothing. Needless to say, I got fired. What an ass.

Other than that, abit more hilarious thing happened. Being the worst cook ever, I've almost burnt my kitchen. Now I've just did it again. Before it was a popcorn which I thought can be popped in the oven. Little did I know that it's also a burning device as well, and when it popped, it fell into the heater and caught fire. Eventually the oven caught fire, and I had to use a cloth to keep it down, as the cloth was also on fire. Luckily the oven isn't that big. It's that small toaster oven. And today was quite interesting.
I was reading the Naked Chef's blog and seeing some steaks, I was thinking I can make some steaks as well. Picked up a juicy frozen steak and started defrosting on the microwave. Now the defrosted steak is rubbed with tons of mint sauce (i can't find any more sauce), some spices and black pepper. So far so good I think. then came the frying part. As I was frying in the frying pan with the steak on the bottom, as I flipped the meat, flames engulf my pan all the way to the roof. Then for some unknown reason, black stuff started to fall from the sky like snow. It turns out that my light/fan thingy on top of my cooker hasn't been cleaned for a while and soot has arrived due to my flame pressure. Cool.

Note to everyone: Never ever, ever, ever, let me in your kitchen. Lightning strikes more than twice.

Made a sale for company, but everything there is running slow!

2005-01-14T23:14:00.000+08:00

Woohoo, just got a client. Well not confirmed but it's most likely...

But everything else sux! The company's slow. Most of my aunties can't make up their mind on what to do with the company. And because of that I can't get the wifi installed! Crappiness! Just let me run the damn blardy thing on my own and I'm sure I can make it good.

They should wipe out inefficient people.

Back to programming, for a day.

2005-01-08T15:38:00.000+08:00

Well, so weird huh? First a manager of a company, and now to programming for a while. For some people who don't know. I used to be this kid who loves programming in every way, and hated business. Business are for people who scared of programming and that sorta thing. It seemed I misjudged myself, so after a while in business and selling, I decided to go back into it. It started out like this.

Wan Hazmer, one of me good friends, gave me an offer I almost couldn't refused. RM500 for a job for one day. Only problem, it's almost a normal project of 2 weeks to be done in one day. Being the hero, I feel like I can push my limit. So I took it. After going there at 2pm, and started work. Programming was in a way physically exhausting. It's just staring at

Driving Battle Stage 1

2005-01-05T11:37:00.000+08:00

Now, usually I don't complain about KL drivers, because I'm one of them. And I usually do stuff which I kinda think it's abit too far. But hey, it's a dog eat dog world out there. But this story I like to tell because of the weirdness it is.

There I am near Phileo going to go off and lining up behind 3 cars to the ticket counter to exit, when a black merz or sonata decided to make a cut. To the ticket counter. So being myself, I faithfully push my car to be very close to the car in front of me to remind her the need to line up. As I was doing this, I didn't know about the red pillar at the front and I knocked it. Plooped, there it went and now there's a small red scar at my car. Interesting. My battle scars....lol.

Other than that, my business isn't doing that great. After doing the accounts over and over, with multiple figures either profit or loss. I can safely say we're at a.....loss. Big loss...Unless a miracle from God comes and rent our rooms, we're almost screwed. So we've dropped our prices to see if it helps. And please please TELEKOM. Do your work fast so we can survive, or if we perish you shall burn in hell with us.

Life of managing a company

2005-01-04T20:01:00.000+08:00

Now the useless soul has turned itself to try to become wealthy by running the business. Unfortunately it's not as easy as it seems.

You see, there's a major difference between worknig for yourself, and working for the company. When you work for the company, you usually try to do the minimum. Like you do the minimum number of work hours, or the minimum number of sales (unless you're on commission that is), the minimum work that you have to do and get out. Cause you know, if you do more...it's more of a waste right? And spending company's money. Oh yeah...just spend it. Corporate dinners, corporate dancers, fuel, handphone, medical bills. Wooohoo.

Working for your company is hell of the work. You try to do things the opposite. Making sure things are at its best for your customers. You have to put time to taking care of the equipment and making sure that everybody is happy (well, almost...cept the customers that don't pay, then it's probably fear that will overwhelm them)

Erm, so the summary of it. Alot of the tenants are moving out, which is a bummer. And the accounts are inaccurate, so we don't know if we're making money or losign it. Well, then tommorow have to try to recalculate everything again.
Shit.

But I like working like this. I have some degree of control. The employees listen to me, and my boss, or bosses are well, my clients. I do things because I know the company will help me later. I feed it, try to make it grow. And if all turns well....I'll have a nice corporation on the way. Ahh...the dream.

Back to reality. Lets see if I can get enough sales for this.

Cheers folks.

Happy New Year and Merry Christmas!

2005-01-01T18:52:00.000+08:00

Oops, maybe the Christmas's abit late. Ha ha.

Oh well, how do I begin. I've spent my Christmas in Cameron Highlands. Spending time with Irene's dad and mom taught me how close friends can be. Three families almost every year spend their time in the resort talking about good old times and in the cold quiet day. Probably when I'm old I'll go there myself . It's nice, quiet, and a nice place to unwind when you're no more working. Probably picking up strawberries. It was a scary event at first, but after a while it was nice to go there for a visit which is so much enjoyable.

For the new year, being the fact that I'm divorced. I have two new year occasions. My first was yesterday with my dad and Aunt wei ping. Brought in the neighbours, catched damn nice food that my aunt made. And watched Kung Fu Hustle at the end. A nice quiet in house thing. Irene's been busy catching up on her internet as her place doesn't seem to have any. Checking friendsters and her other boy-friends. . But all in all, everyone's was tired. But happy.

Now, in about 5 minutes time. We're going to spend time after New year with my mom's side. Poor Irene's gotta go for both parties, but I think she enjoyed it. We couldn't find turkey, so we're having chicken,lamb,and beef with cranberry sauce. Cute huh? lol.

In other notes, in the new year I'll be managing my mom's company. Which provides rental services. My dad's one I have almost no control. So it's abit fustrating. Hopefully I can tell Charles, my boss over there about the situation here and let me go easy. Hopefully.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR

Recalling my ISDN line horror story..hehe

2004-12-23T11:11:00.000+08:00

As I wait for how long the streamyx is to get for my company, supposedly it's about 2-4 weeks. But then it dawned on me on a little story when I was 18.

Ahem.

When I was 18, I ordered an ISDN line. Thinking at that time it was fast, and cool, I went to call Telekom to order. Telekom called, saying that it'll arrive quite soon. After about a couple of months with no answer whatsoever, I gave up and think nothing of it and still use my irritating dial up line.
When I was 21, Streamyx came about. I signed up for the 60 hours per month when it was popular, and it was changed to unlimited pretty quick. I was quite pleased with it as it's broadband and it's so fast. So happy. The next couple of weeks after the streamyx experience I was in bed in 9:30am. As I woke up, the first thing I saw standing in my room was this BIG burly Indian man with the Telekom uniform. He's BIG! With a turban! and a beard like a Singh! And was holding an ISDN MODEM! First thing that came out of his mouth was...

"You ordered ISDN?"

I replied...

"Umm....not anymore...sorry"

After that he just left. Talk about intimidation to the max. That is 3 years man. 3 years period of since I order to get the ISDN. My God. Is it that bad? Lets hope the order is not that long.

To tell you the truth, I'm abit sick of it. In my office, there's a ONE dialup line that goes to one computer. My boss. So everytime I need to use the Net, which I usually do to use emails to keep contact with. So alot of walking is required. And we have a network, without broadband. ARGH!!!!

Sux.

Photo album for singapore trip!

2004-12-21T13:58:00.000+08:00

Just to let u know i've added the singapore trip into my photo album. It's at snapfish. So in order to ease everyone's ordeal to register, I'll shall selfishly give my account details:
email: adrian.lbs@gmail.com
pass: foraiur

Have fun watching!

Work's getting tolerated, going to singapore soon

2004-12-17T20:01:00.000+08:00

Hows things so far? Hmm, I'm starting to get the hang of what I have to do at work.
My company's a small company, trying to make it in the market. Since it's partially owned by my dad, I technically own some parts of the company, though I'm pretty new at this and all. So it makes me feel whatever my boss, Charles feels. If he got to chase a guy for money or else our company gets a hit, i feel pretty pissed too. So most of the time, we're both trying to make the company afloat. Going round, get new customers, getting money from the old. It's cutthroat and ruthless. Well for me at least. Charles is more patient. I'm that young rash fella who gets ready all the demand and threatening letters should we have to use it as a last resort to get back at our money. muahahahah...

Going to singapore soon. As I'm blogging now, I'm waiting for John to pick me up so we can go to the Pudu station to take a bus. Now I've never taken a bus anywhere out of state, so it's pretty daunting. But then it's nice to take an adventure. With my mini ipod in my ears, it really sounds like an adventure :). Irene and Kuan Ling has been there since Wednesday to go for shopping I gather. I must stay bold for the next couple of days and there's probably no way I can spend anybody anything during the next week as I'll probably be broke. Charles has so nicely gave me S150 to spend (ok not really to spend, but maybe he might just forget it...hehheh), plus an extra S250 I cough up from my own account, so we see how it goes. Will get photos coz she has a digital camera over there.

Cheers. :)

ramblings of a soul with a flu

2004-12-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

I have flu. I'm off work. And I've got a blog.hmm...

no topics, no whatever life is what. Just pure crap talk.

I bought this Great Teacher Onizuka DVD for RM80. Good for the pirates ya? Watched that for a couple of days and it rocks. A pre-gangster fella doing teaching sounds absurd but whatever he does has a hidden meaning. Maybe will watch again till late night again. Oooo...It's been a while since I have been awake at 3am.

Am still thinking for a gift for Irene. You know, for christmas. Maybe a CD or a made up iMovie project using my eMac. Just not sure what to right. Argh, the brainpower needed for all these. The creativity drained from my soul. Bleh. Technically the CDs would be nice, but the iMovie will be nicer, and even better. IT'S FREE EVEN!!! lol. just joking.

Ahem.

Ok I think I'm done. Hehe. Cheers.

Friends of all ages

2004-12-07T01:40:00.000+08:00

Over the times I have been making friends or trying to make friends, it seems that the ages of friends do tend to influence you abit. Being a 23 year old, it can be considered too old or too young, or just right.

To my 19 year old peers in church which I meet, To them I'm an '81 guy, which is of course too old. It's quite fun to hang with them. For them, they don't have a worry at the world. Maybe later, but for them they see things so carefree and just to be done with classes. Being with them, you too feel carefree, and thinking that the life that you've been worrying about is almost nothing to worry about. I thank them for seeing the finer points in life.

I also have older friends. Friends who ranges from 24-30 something. They're the experienced group. They've been through their life of work, love and life in general. They talk wisdom, wisdom of their past that what they've done before. I get to learn what lies ahead of me and how do I face them. I thank them for the paths that they have treaded and their advice they've been giving me.

I have also friends who are the same age as me, exactly 23. They're the ones who I sync most. Some things are different cause we've came from different paths and such. But there's a sync somewhere and I too thank them for letting me to be in sync with them as they learn and grow.

Sometimes ages also doesn't affect maturity. In retrospect, Irene, being an early age of 21, is more disciplined and more hardworking than me. Talk about being the older one. Hehe.

Being with Irene part 2

2004-12-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

Having been with someone who is the direct opposite of you is interesting. It also poses some challenges as you can't go to some places where two of us will agree or like to go. For mine, it's shopping. Hearing that she is able to make runs in malls for 11 hours straight gives me the uuber jeebies. For her, it's cybercafes, she can't stand that I can just sit and stare at a screen for hours and wasting my precious time and muscle mass that I have left.

She and I also sometimes don't get along with fashion. She likes to dress really really nice, which I'm not complaining. She doesn't mind me dressing decent, but then there was the case of my green/grey shirt.
I have this green/grey shirt that's been with me like ooo...6-8 years? I usually wear that coz it's comfortable, it fits like a glove to my body. But here's how the conversation started about... the green grey shirt...

Irene: What's this?
Me: It's my shirt. Which I'm going to wear kwa.
Irene: Are you sure it's not a rag?
Me: No it's not, it looks abit beaten, but those are just small stain scars.
Irene: What scars? there's holes in this thing!
Me: Ah, but those are just scratches. The scars do bring back memories. Like this small white spot is where I use to spill some toothpaste and it got so into the fabric. The small brown spot is some nosebleed that I had, but you can hardly notice them. I'm not sure about the pink one though.
Irene: There's no way you're wearing this outside. You could wear it in the apartment but thats it.
Me: But it's comfortable, wait let me wear the fella.
Irene: There's no way you're wearing this outside.
Me: But it's so comfortable
Irene: Probably Jon has another shirt....
Me: ....

Jon is Kuan Leng boyfriend, which Kuan Leng is Irene's best friend. They hang out together like a group, and I just joined their party. It's quite interesting. Because they at a student apartment they have to do alot of stuff around the place. Litte did I know that I could mop a floor, which Irene have graded me a B- in effort. Need improvement.

Another thing about this is language barrier. Irene has an advantage of speaking in a different dialect that I do not understand. Chinese is a dialect I do not understand. So when four of us go out, and they 3 start talking chinese, I get stumped, litterally. Most of the time they speak english, but when they wanto say something funny about me, they switch dialects. Or if Jon and Kuan Leng wants to tease Irene but don't want me to talk back, switch dialects.

Must make note to myself to learn Chinese.

She's also an outgoing kind of person. Just recently we went to a shoot of Latte @ 8, which is a show about Jason Lo, a singer, interviewing celebrities in Sunway Pyramid. Being her favourite show, we went over there yesterday to see it live. The people I see there were very partyish, for a lack of a better word. All having fun and all. Now for normal people thats cool. But for a guy who is near introvert and been dealing only in business with people in suits and shirts who acts nice in front of you coz they're ur suppliers, that is very unpredictable people.

But with all these differences at the end of the day, we care for each other. I guess also that these differences intrigues us differently in some sort of way. Weird huh?

Irene, if you're reading this, love you. :)

Photos of Penang, plus extra :)

2004-11-21T19:39:00.000+08:00

Hey there pple! Snx8 has been nice enough to make a photo database of our trip in penang so it's at:
http://www.snx8.net/Photos/Penang2004/blog.htm

Also, I'm attached :).
Guess it's quite cool to be in a relationship again, albeit that it wasn't easy. Lol. There I was, fidgeting on what to say and not blunder stuff. In the end it came out horribly wrong, the sentances all mixed up, but she didn't mind. Phew. :P

I've been pretty much was childhood friends with her in Penang since I was visiting my aunt over there. Unfortunately we lost in touch, and only met at my aunt's funeral. After that we kept in touch very rarely, but then we kept visiting each other.

Cheers folks :)

The best penang trip ever!

2004-11-17T21:27:00.000+08:00

ahahah! It's the best man.....alot of things that we did over there that it's hard to explain in one whole shot. I couldn't imagine how much fun I had. It seemed that I've found my soul. :)

I guess if you look hard at it, thats what friends are for. They don't second guess when you do something weird, or don't leave when the chips are down.

Thanks Guys :D

PS: Will get the photos later.

The cursed IteM

2004-11-09T01:31:00.000+08:00

Aha! I have found the most cursed item to date that makes me get palpitations. IT IS:

TEA! A FREAKING TEA!

Because of this English drink, I get stupid palpitations and some acid reflux. Damn u MR TEA!!!!!!!!

evil.

Helicobacter Pylori confirmed

2004-11-03T16:05:00.000+08:00

Arrrr, I have it. The doctor called me back and said I'm positive for that thing. Darn it.

Feeling like a guinea pig

2004-11-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

Argh, first was gastric...now palpitations. Sigh. I guess I got it coming. What goes around comes around.

In other news, I'm doing a myriad of tests from the clinic and hosptitals to get the full picture. Just did a blood test for Hectocpactor pyleri supposedly the bacteria which causes gastric.

Then on wednesday doing a heart checkup with the ECG and echocardiogram. I think there's more but then I'm not sure yet also.

Argh, evil.

Remembering Mattie Stepanek

2004-10-29T00:05:00.000+08:00

Mattie Stepanek

One time as I was coming back on one sundays, i accidentaly caught a show of Oprah. You know, the one with the Ladder 49 cast that introduce the real life heroes that we have here today.

One of it was Mattie Stepanek

Mattie Stepanek is a very young poet, only at 6 years old he's written alot of short small poems. Unfortunately, he suffers from dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy, which disrupts the body's breathing, processing of oxygen and heart rate. The cool thing about him is that he never gives up, and all his poems about life, and how peace should be in it, and everybody is the same.

Unfortunately at 22nd June 2004, he passed away.

You will be missed, Mattie Stepanek.

still clinically gastric

2004-10-22T19:08:00.000+08:00

Ouch, gastric, the irritating bane of pain. After with a couple of antacids and some pills (Lanzol, to help with the stomach and gastric), it's back to work.

My work was suppose to start with my father's friend, or my friend, Charles immediately, who owns a concentrated fruit juice selling company. Unfortunately, he suffered some pink-eye thing and now is at a clinic and at home, quite stoned. Hope he's doing ok.

So far things are ok. Oh I almost forgot, give this Google Desktop a try, I can't remember the link but you can google search that and it'll instantly pop up. It's kinda cool. It's a small 400k prog that checks all ur files and directories and put it in the google search. so when u google for something, not only does it search its usual web sites and images, but it also searches your offline e-mails, files, directories and pics and what not and puts it in your result.

Security wise, there's no data sent to the google center about what you have. Your internet explorer just reflects what you have on your machine and your google website just adds that small code to show the results on your page.

I think.

The reason for a religion

2004-10-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

All the past I've wondered the reason behind religion. Is it because that it's something that they rely on the quest for life? And the times that I've thought it was a waste to read the bible and all that.

But surprisingly, things have turned out differently.

After my near scary freaking death experience which I thought I had a heart attack, but didn't (heartburn, quite embarassing now actually lol). I always question that where will be I be when I'm no longer here? I mean, at one point we all will eventually moving on to the afterlife.

I guess I need a home.

A place when I don't feel scared.

A place with no monetary values.

A place where status becomes equal.

A place where friends are buddies for life.

And I thank God for that for that place that I will go someday.

Amen.

Wounded in battle

2004-10-12T16:34:00.000+08:00

Wow, haven't been posting for a while. Last week just after I wrote that ikead blog spot, I started to feel dizzy. Thinking nothing of it, started to walk around Ikea and Ikano power center as usual. Then during the night, extreme dizziness sets in, couldn't even stand properly, mighty thanks and kudos to Gan Eu Gin for helping me out, taking me to the hospital which was abit useless.

[Some obscene screamings to Damansara Specialist Hospital]
FUCK U DSH! IF A PERSON IS COMPLAINING OF CRUSHING CHEST PAINS AND GOING TO DIE SOON, DO U KEEP THE BLARDY FELLA ON HOLD FOR 30 MINS? DO U GIVE PANADOL FOR PPLE WHO HAS A CHEST PAIN? WHAT THE HECK IS THAT??
[End screaming]

Turns out that I've got some deoxygenated blood, anemic i think. Not sure how bad it is, but my family doctor assured me it's not that bad...just gotta change my lifestyle, diet everything. On top of that, I think I might have some irritable indigestion, which kept giving me pains in the chest i.e. heartburn.

Which kept me thinking, at the day that I die which hopefully is quite long hehe, I might feel that, a shock that wasn't suppose to be there...the very tingling sensation on my head and makes the room very blurry and spinny, would i smile or would i freak out?

Weird isn't it?

Have you been ikead?

2004-10-08T16:14:00.000+08:00

You know, ever since I've been playing Sims 2, I've noticed some commercialisation. Not to be thinking there's a conspiracy mind you, but the furniture that you purchase in the house, some of them are in Ikea! Thats right, Ikea. Talk about commercial advertising. :P

First time went to Ikea straight 3 days. Since 2 days ago, it's been shopping at Ikea, looking at small things to buy, like a white clock that fits just nice with the e-mac. And maybe a grey chair today.

I've also noticed some funky gender differences when they go to Ikea:

Ladies: when women go to Ikea, they stroll and take their time shopping. They will look at things, flicker with the switch, fiddle with the curtains, shake the items to see if it holds, basically just testing to see if it works, then move to the item on the right, and the cycle continues. As you can see, this might take a while.

Men: When men goes to Ikea, it's like a race track. I've seen a guy clear 3-4 sections in 2 mins. Just move pick up a set of candles on the way and zooms off to short cuts to the cashier. As you know, Ikea's freaking big, so their objective is to get through the all well known marketing scheme of letting you walk all over place before hitting the cashier track.

Please note that this is a generalisation, I've seen women who did the F1 track. Or guys who fiddles with stuff through every section.

On the other side of the Ikano Power station (warning for pple who doesn't like to be made tempted to apple :P ) I saw a dual processor G5, hooked to two sets of 30" Apple Display, one is that Cinema version and the other the standard one, split in both, iTunes on the right one, and Safari on the left. It's also hooked to a mixer, which is connected to a media keyboard and a bass guitar.

Nice :)

The Apprentice

2004-10-06T21:50:00.000+08:00

Wow, just looking at the show really made my day.
See about the Apprentice at:
The Apprentice

WARNING: CLICK ONLY HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SPOIL YOURSELF ON THE SHOW
The main page has the winner stated, and in our lousy country, we've just finished 2 episodes.

But it makes a pt, I mean when I see people trying hard to make money and to sell, I get that excitement and andrenaline running. You see the planning and making profits, wow.

Money is in my blood. :D

Clocked in at 6AM

2004-09-27T06:09:00.000+08:00

My first day since god knows when I've woken up early.
Making progress......

Who am I?

2004-09-26T05:15:00.000+08:00

I've seriously been thinking about this for a long time.
I was set. I wanted to be a computer programmer for life.
Ever.
I was so sure.
What have I been doing?
Anything but that.

I've been selling, been teaching, being creative not as I was years back. It's as if I've been the soul has been sucked out of this body and been replaced with a new one. Same DNA, Different mind.

I look back at the photos I have left when I was a child and it's so different. The face, the mood.

To try to find excitement again, I loaded up my developer tools. Nothing. People tell me about the latest shift in what the new C++ DirectX programming can do. Nothing. People telling me in the careers to look higher such as the SAP as I'm planning to do.Nothing.

I'm always thinking. I keep asking my brain what I want to be when I grow up.

Nothing.

Life of a Sim2! :)

2004-09-23T06:02:00.000+08:00

I just got hold of The Sims 2, and I'm playing on my P3 733 with a Geforce2 GTS card. It runs damn well, and I give it a 5 out of 5!

Lots of times better than the first Sims. Your Sim can age. Yes, age! Before you know it that little baby fella turns to a teenager and racks the house. Each sim has a personality, or an aspiration that they follow. Each aspiration has goals that they should achieve to attain their aspirations. With more better aspirations, they can get funky items like elixir of health and all that. Mine's fortune, so it's sorta like money money money and more money. My gf(Disclaimer: In Sims 2) on the other hand has a Love aspiration, one of her major goals is to make out with 3 guys in 1 nite. Oh, did I mention that they can make out?

Lots of things to talk about my sim. I'll put in the photos later, but it'll be in parts and it'll be quite soon. But my family configuration is as follows:
- Me, vice-president in business
- gf, homeworker
- adopted son, teenager

My goodness, I just realised I can't remember their names. Must check before their next birthday
If you guys need a zest for life, this game could probably do it :) Cheers.

Working towards a 9-5 job

2004-09-15T17:21:00.000+08:00

As some of you know, I'm a freelancer. So my hours are super varied from super wee hours of the morning till late afternoons. So I could sleep late and still be fine. Should be.

My dad just landed me a job as some SAP thing. Everybody's going wahhh..go get it....so now I'm in training.

What training?

Training to wake up at 8am.

It's freaking hard. No?

Be passionate at what we do

2004-09-13T08:46:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt at times what are you planning to do in life? What is ur purpose to be in this world and then not exist anymore?

Disclaimer first. To anybody who wants to preach religiously. Please spare this blog.

It's so fustrating to try to find what you really want to do. At first I thought I wanted to teach computers to other people, but that sucked. It's quite fustrating and unfortunately quite boring. Then a programmer, but it makes me pissed at other people and unfortunately makes me very arrogant.

My parents tries to say that it's ok that I can take my time to think about what I want. But I can see that they want me to decide fast, as they're near retirement and I have to take the ball rolling soon.

And every day, I walk and see other people who got it made. You know, these are the ones who you know it's gonna be a doctor. He talks about bone and blood all the time, even during lunch. Or the one who talks about cars from the morning to evening.

Wouldn't it better to just not exist?

Fire Hazard at my doorstep

2004-09-11T00:29:00.000+08:00

As I arrived to my computer room, I find that there are numerous wires all over my comps, like an alien has entangled its limbs to every single comp, except for the Mac. Fearing that if I disconnect some wires it'll probably lose the internet connection and lose power, I don't feel like to move it an inch. But it's growing. Every day I see more wires. Wires Wires Wires till the point until it's gone. One spark from 1 wire and this room is history.

Why not have wireless power? I don't know how that works in theory. But that'll be cool. Charging your batteries in your pocket. Using your PDA and when you arrive at a hotspot it'll charge itself? Heck, even electric cars will be useful coz it'll charge when it arrives at a hotspot. Cool isn't it?

Classes are slow compared to last I checked. Sigh only 2, target's 5 for the month. Well, it's sorta the 1st out of 3 weeks that I've put the ad, so lets hope for the best.

Besides the 2 are very interested, but not confirmed. Sigh.

brain not working. Need Coffee...Crap.

Life is probably more like crap. You probably won't know how bad it is until you step on one.

Nothing to write today

2004-09-10T13:21:00.000+08:00

Empty soul walking by.

Move along.

The woes of NetMaster

2004-09-09T09:57:00.000+08:00

A cybercafe in NetMaster who to this end have not maintained their wonderful comps and are rotting to the brink of extinction. It's because of this that I've lost so many games of Warcraft 3!

And Orcs are so cheating! YARGH!

err..fine I can't play that good :P

The ipod mini and it's life in 1 month.

2004-09-06T13:31:00.000+08:00

Ipod mini.
Retail Price 1199.
iTrip FM Wireless transmitter 239.
Scolding the salesman and the service center for it to spoil twice in 2 weeks.
PRICELESS.

Yup. it's in the workshop, again. With the same problem. The menu button on the mini doesn't work and I can't go back in the menu after listening to some songs.

Which brings me to another point. Don't, i repeat DON'T buy any stuff from Megabuy Sdn Bhd. Their staff in my humble opinion seems pretty much clueless about everything and doesn't even bother to call back after repeatedly being told to do so to make sure everything's in warranty and/or in repair.

I must say also that in all aspects of Apple, one thing I really hate abit is their warranty. Sure it's free...but it's taking darn long.

apple. You either hate it or love it or eat it. Choose.

Life without coffee

2004-09-05T11:29:00.000+08:00

Being a 6 cup coffee drinker a day guy, this was the hardest thing to do in my life. After the incident, I'm supposed to stay away from coffee for a while. Having said that it wasn't that easy.

Withdrawal symtoms set in, with hands and feet shaking without realisation that it is. And the nights that you so yearn to live in and the wee morning hours has been lost due to the excessive dizziness after 2am. Every pain in your body and your soul comes back from the time you've had your first cup to get rid of it all.

Heaven is in one cup, hell is when you're not drinking it.

Near Death Experience

2004-08-30T13:58:00.000+08:00

Just when I got back from church camp, I was called for a game of Warcraft 3 in my friend's office. As I was heading to Taman Tun, a sudden but not so bad chest pains started to emerge. Thinking I pulled a muscle I kinda disregarded it.

As I was starting the computer. Drinking a can of Pepsi, the chest pains kept on hitting me like a brick on me, and I had problems breathing. Good thing there's a hospital nearby, so got admitted and got an ECG. Then I was talking about how I was feeling and all, the first thing I noticed is that the doctor was staring at me like I was talking to him in Spanish or French. After a few retries and recommunication, he told me that I'm having some gastric problems. When I drank that Pepsi, the acidity of something shot out of the stomach, forcing my eoshopagus (i have no idea how to spell this) to contract, causing breathing problems.

Pepsi kills man.

Locked out from my own home

2004-08-29T19:53:00.000+08:00

Very weird. Two days back I was at a church camp at Tapah. Feeling bored, I took the next car home, only to find that the house is locked. Now, I have most of the keys to open it mind you. Just that there's this single piece of metallic lock that is barring me from my humble domain. My maid has left on a holiday, with the keys with her. So had to bunk in one of my mates. Sunday, just got back.

Remind me to burn that lock.

Why do I hate God?

2004-08-29T03:17:00.000+08:00

One of the most weirdest questions that I asked myself every day. Why do I hate God?

This question bothers most Christians I gather, and I apologise for that. Maybe it's just me.

I've been a Christian most of my life. As a kid I've been going to Sunday school every sunday, listening to the stories of how people were being saved from their sins. A spark of smile came from the small kid at the back of the room knowing that there's hope.

But somehow things went astray. Being in an International School with a tradition to uphold, I started to lose my footing and fell. Being out with friends, never had time to go to church, playing games. I started to drift away.

First time I came back to the YF was when I was 12/13 (can't remember). A frightened kid who came back and saw the church again. This time I knew in my heart that I'll always never fit in. The church is a tight group, where generations of families have met together and mingled and everybody knew everybody except me. The odd one. By 19 I left. I've made alot of friends, but I was drifting. I knew it, it always was there. The excuses that I made was a cover up to feel how alone I am.

By 23, my favourite aunt passed away. Her last wish was for me to go back to church. Now at 24, as I'm listening to the lectures and sermons and made countless of good friends that I cherished for my entire life, I started hating God.

Why? Is it because that I'm blaming him to take away my aunt at such a moment where I've gotten angry at her.

Crap.

What is life?

2004-08-29T03:12:00.000+08:00

Have you ever reached a time where you're at a lost? You recollect things in the past that was good and what if you've never left your first love? Or achieved something that you really yearned for decades or in the ages?

This blog is made by a soul who lost that desire. A caffeinated-lifeless walking body that goes through life to see what things are ahead of him.